If Chihuahuas Could Text: 7 Messages Your Chihuahua Would Send You Today

Chihuahuas may be tiny, but their personalities are anything but. If they had thumbs and a phone, your notifications would be blowing up all day. Here’s a peek into the texts your Chihuahua would probably send, equal parts needy, sassy, and hilarious.

1. “Hey. Why is my food bowl only half full?”

You measured it carefully, but your Chihuahua doesn’t care about serving sizes. In their mind, anything less than overflowing counts as a personal betrayal. Expect a follow up text with a photo of the bowl for evidence.

2. “Why are we walking past that squirrel like it’s not plotting against us?”

Chihuahuas believe squirrels are criminal masterminds. If you ignore them, your pup assumes you’re complicit in a squirrel led conspiracy. The text would probably come with an aggressive GIF suggestion.

3. “I’ve barked at the mailman for six years and he STILL shows up. You’re welcome.”

That daily barkathon? It’s not noise, it’s a heroic act. Your Chihuahua sees themselves as a one dog neighborhood watch, tirelessly defending the home while you sit there eating snacks.

4. “You sat down. Therefore, I now own your lap.”

Boundaries don’t exist in Chihuahua land. The second your butt touches a chair, consider your lap booked. They would text this just to remind you who runs the household.

5. “Did you seriously pet another dog? I can smell the betrayal.”

Chihuahuas have radar for rival dog fur. If they could text, they’d demand a full explanation, complete with names, breeds, and alibis. Expect passive aggressive silence afterward.

6. “Just a reminder: I may weigh five pounds, but I am the boss.”

You buy the food, pay the rent, and clean up the messes, but make no mistake, the Chihuahua is CEO of this household. That text would probably come with an emoji crown.

7. “You’re not going to the bathroom alone. Don’t fight me on this.”

Privacy is a foreign concept. If you shut the door, prepare for scratching, whining, and in this case, a dramatic all caps message declaring you heartless for abandoning them for two whole minutes.

Chihuahuas may be pint sized, but if they had texting power, your phone would never get a break. Between sass, neediness, and protective instincts, you’d be living with the tiniest yet loudest group chat in history.