If Pit Bulls Could Text: 11 Messages Your Pit Bull Would Send You Today

Living with a pit bull means living with constant entertainment, drool stains, and a furry friend who believes personal space is optional. If pit bulls had thumbs and could text, your phone would be blowing up all day with messages that range from needy to downright ridiculous. Here’s what your dog would definitely send you.

1. “Hey. You up? Wanna share toast?”

Breakfast isn’t safe in a pit bull household. They’ve got radar for carbs, and they’re convinced you owe them a bite.

2. “Did you say walk or did I hallucinate again?”

Every time you touch your sneakers your pit bull assumes it’s go time. They don’t care if you’re just taking the trash out. It’s basically a betrayal.

3. “The couch misses me. Please come back and sit.”

Pit bulls don’t just lounge. They sprawl. And if you’re not part of the cuddle pile you’re getting a guilt trip via text.

4. “I licked the floor for you. It’s clean now.”

You might call it gross but your pit bull calls it housekeeping. Spilled coffee? They’re already on it.

5. “Squirrel. Emergency. Get outside. NOW.”

Your pit bull has zero chill when it comes to neighborhood squirrels. Expect frantic messages with absolutely no follow up plan.

6. “That Amazon box? Definitely mine. Open it.”

If a package lands at the door your pit bull assumes it’s a subscription service just for them.

7. “Sorry about the drool spot on your pillow. Love you tho.”

Pit bulls have no concept of personal bedding boundaries. If it smells like you they’re moving in.

8. “The neighbor’s cat looked at me weird. Handle it.”

They’ll gladly text you about every single injustice in their kingdom. Starting with cats who dare exist.

9. “You’re the best human. Don’t ever forget. Also snacks.”

Pit bulls balance sass with pure unconditional love. They’d spam you with affirmations right before begging for treats.

10. “If you leave again I’ll die. Probably. Just saying.”

Separation anxiety? They’ve mastered the art of guilt tripping and texts would make it even easier.

11. “Okay I forgive you for everything. Wanna cuddle?”

At the end of the day pit bulls just want one thing. You. Preferably on the couch under a blanket forever.

If pit bulls could text you’d never get any work done. Between snack demands squirrel alerts and cuddle requests your notifications would be constant chaos. But it would also be the sweetest chaos you could ask for.