2 weeks ago
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French Bulldogs are tiny comedians wrapped in bat ears and snorts. But don’t be fooled by their goofy smiles. Behind those bug eyes is a sharp mind that is definitely keeping score. If you’ve ever felt like your Frenchie stares at you with the disdain of a Parisian café waiter, you’re not wrong. Here are seven things that earn you a silent side eye from your stubby legged critic.
1. Leaving Them Out of the Bed
You think you’re being firm about “boundaries,” but to your Frenchie, it’s betrayal. They know you toss and turn like a rotisserie chicken anyway, so why not add a snoring, warm loaf of dog to the mix?
2. Taking Too Long With Their Dinner
You measure out kibble like you’re a Michelin star chef. Meanwhile, they’re standing behind you, ears twitching, wondering if you’re aging the food in an oak barrel.
3. Dressing Them in Outfits They Didn’t Approve
That pumpkin costume was hilarious to you. To your Frenchie, it was an assault on dignity that will be remembered until the end of time. Don’t be surprised if they “accidentally” poop in your favorite shoes later.
4. Talking in Baby Voices in Public
They’ll tolerate your high pitched “Who’s my baby?” at home. But in front of other dogs? The judgment is so thick you can practically hear them mutter, “I have a reputation, Karen.”
5. Bath Time Shenanigans
They already know they smell fabulous, thank you very much. Dragging them into a tub is not only insulting, it’s unnecessary from their perspective. Every splash is met with a look that says, “This is how you repay my loyalty?”
6. Ignoring Their Snores
French Bulldogs don’t snore. They perform symphonies. When you dare to complain about the nasal orchestra echoing through your apartment, they judge you as an uncultured heathen.
7. Leaving Them Alone Too Long
You may think you’ve just gone to Target for paper towels, but your Frenchie’s internal clock has decided you were gone for six years. When you return, their side eye communicates both relief and the certainty that you don’t deserve forgiveness.
Owning a French Bulldog means living under constant silent review. They’re adorable, affectionate, and hilarious. Never doubt that behind every grunt and snort is a tiny judge handing down verdicts on your questionable choices. And let’s be honest, you wouldn’t have it any other way.
English (US) · 