If You Do These 7 Things, Your Lab Is Secretly Judging You

There’s no sugarcoating it. Your Labrador Retriever may look like a happy-go-lucky goofball, but behind those big, soulful eyes is a brain taking notes on all your questionable life choices. Labs are sweet, but they’re also the undisputed kings and queens of side eye. Here’s how you might be unknowingly earning their silent (or not so silent) judgment.

1. Ignoring the Ball They Just Brought You

You thought you could finish your email before playing fetch? Wrong. That ball drop at your feet wasn’t a suggestion. Your Lab now thinks you’ve betrayed the sacred bond of playtime, and somewhere deep in their mind, they’ve put a checkmark in the “Unreliable Human” column.

2. Trying to Eat Without Sharing

Your sandwich? Their sandwich. Your popcorn? Their popcorn. A Lab will watch you chew with the intensity of a thousand suns, and the moment you don’t offer a bite, they file you under “selfish hoarder.” Bonus points for judgment if you dare to eat chips in crinkly packaging without making eye contact.

3. Taking Them on the “Short Walk”

Oh, so you think the three-minute loop around the block counts as exercise? Your Lab has memorized the long scenic route, and every time you skip it, they wonder if you’ve given up on your health… and theirs. The side eye you get afterward? Deserved.

4. Skipping Belly Rubs When They’re Clearly Available

That flop on the floor with paws in the air? That’s an open invitation. If you walk past without a belly rub, your Lab silently wonders how you’re allowed to exist in polite society. In their world, it’s basically a criminal offense.

5. Using “The Voice” in Public

Yes, that squeaky, high-pitched “Who’s a good boy?!” voice. Your Lab tolerates it at home, but when you pull it out in front of the mailman or your neighbor, they stare at you like you’ve just embarrassed the family name.

6. Forgetting the Treat Jar Exists

Your Lab knows exactly where the treats are kept, how the jar sounds when it opens, and the exact time they should be getting one. Forgetting or pretending to forget is a cardinal sin. The look they give you afterward is equal parts disappointment and disbelief.

7. Bath Time Betrayal

One minute, you’re scratching their ears. The next, you’re luring them into the bathroom and turning on the faucet. They will endure it, sure, but the dripping wet glare afterward says, “I trusted you, and now you smell like betrayal.”

Your Lab might love you unconditionally, but let’s be honest. They’re also keeping score. The good news? They’re easily bought off with snacks, long walks, and belly rubs. Just… maybe skip the squeaky voice in public.